No Sleep Till Brooklyn / Long Island Wildin’ – aka Manager’s Vacation

ETA: I’m Back, Baby! / Normal Consciousness Has Been Resumed!

Beastie Boys

De La Soul (mild NSFW)

Dearest Tenant(s), Tenant’s-to-be, Guests, Randos;

Greetings and salutations one and all, this is Maximilian Hoffman, the Property Manager of 574 3rd St. – Central Apartments here with a heads up message regarding my vacation, our office hours while I am away, contact information while I am gone, and a fun fact.

Vacation Dates!

Friday, August 11th – Sunday, August 20th, 2017. Back to the back to the beat (y’all) on Monday, August 21st, 2017.

Office Hours!

Monday – Friday, 10:00 am – 2:00 pm

(3-2-1) Contact Information!

Central Apartments Office:
Ken Karp – Ph: (415) 981-2605 / Email: / Fax: (415) 618-0009

After/Before Office Hours Emergency Contact!

On-Site Employee Milt Phelps: (415) 999-1895


(Property Management Wizard) Venus Marie DeGuzman: Ph: (415) 661-3860 ext 124 / Email:

Fun Fact!

Long Island is a terminal moraine. Learned that via the following exchange from SIMPLE MEN, directed by Long Island native Hal Hartley.

“Dennis McCabe: I’ve never been to Long Island.
Bill McCabe: Yes you have.
Dennis McCabe: I have?
Bill McCabe: Yeah. You’ve been to Queens. Queens is Long Island.
Dennis McCabe: Queens is a part of New York City. I don’t think it’s really considered part of Long Island.
Bill McCabe: It’s part of New York City, but it’s on Long Island.
Dennis McCabe: Queens is a borough.
Bill McCabe: A borough, on Long Island.
Dennis McCabe: A borough of New York City.
Bill McCabe: Right.
Dennis McCabe: Long Island’s a terminal moraine.
Bill McCabe: A what?
Dennis McCabe: A terminal moraine. It’s the earth that’s deposited by a receding glacier.
Bill McCabe: Well, {expletive deleted}, what are we waiting for, huh? Come on.”

See you when I return!



  1. You really make it appear so easy together with your presentation however I to find this matter to be really one thing which I believe I’d by no means understand. It kind of feels too complicated and very large for me. I’m looking ahead on your next post, I’ll try to get the dangle of it!


    1. Qua? and/or “I dare you to make less sense!”


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