No Sleep Till Brooklyn / Long Island Wildin’ – aka Manager’s Vacation

ETA: I’m Back, Baby! / Normal Consciousness Has Been Resumed!

Beastie Boys

De La Soul (mild NSFW)

Dearest Tenant(s), Tenant’s-to-be, Guests, Randos;

Greetings and salutations one and all, this is Maximilian Hoffman, the Property Manager of 574 3rd St. – Central Apartments here with a heads up message regarding my vacation, our office hours while I am away, contact information while I am gone, and a fun fact.

Vacation Dates!

Friday, August 11th – Sunday, August 20th, 2017. Back to the back to the beat (y’all) on Monday, August 21st, 2017.

Office Hours!

Monday – Friday, 10:00 am – 2:00 pm

(3-2-1) Contact Information!

Central Apartments Office:
Ken Karp – Ph: (415) 981-2605 / Email: / Fax: (415) 618-0009

After/Before Office Hours Emergency Contact!

On-Site Employee Milt Phelps: (415) 999-1895


(Property Management Wizard) Venus Marie DeGuzman: Ph: (415) 661-3860 ext 124 / Email:

Fun Fact!

Long Island is a terminal moraine. Learned that via the following exchange from SIMPLE MEN, directed by Long Island native Hal Hartley.

“Dennis McCabe: I’ve never been to Long Island.
Bill McCabe: Yes you have.
Dennis McCabe: I have?
Bill McCabe: Yeah. You’ve been to Queens. Queens is Long Island.
Dennis McCabe: Queens is a part of New York City. I don’t think it’s really considered part of Long Island.
Bill McCabe: It’s part of New York City, but it’s on Long Island.
Dennis McCabe: Queens is a borough.
Bill McCabe: A borough, on Long Island.
Dennis McCabe: A borough of New York City.
Bill McCabe: Right.
Dennis McCabe: Long Island’s a terminal moraine.
Bill McCabe: A what?
Dennis McCabe: A terminal moraine. It’s the earth that’s deposited by a receding glacier.
Bill McCabe: Well, {expletive deleted}, what are we waiting for, huh? Come on.”

See you when I return!


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